Chapter 40: No matter how big your heart is, you will go crazy, right?
"What?" Shi Xiaoai took the envelope.
Cheng Yang raised his chin and motioned for her to see for herself.
Shi Xiaoai opened the envelope and saw a thick stack of money and various bills inside.
The tickets were very fragmented and colourful, and for a moment, she couldn't tell what they were or how many there were.
But the money was all red and new, and the pile was so thick that it cost more than a thousand yuan.
Shi Xiaoai felt as if her hand had been burned and quickly gave Cheng Yang the money again.
Cheng Yang obviously thought that she would do this and quickly ducked to the side, leaving Shi Xiaoai empty.
She put the money on the bedside table and said, "I don't want it; you take it back."
The smile on Cheng Yang's face disappeared, just like when he faced Shi Xiaoai on the first day; he stood there and looked at her quietly without saying a word.
Shi Xiaoai thought for a moment, sat before the bed, then pointed to the bench on one side and said, "Cheng Yang, sit down; I think we need to talk again."
The expression on Cheng Yang's face became serious. He sat silently on the stool, looked at Shi Xiaoai, and waited quietly for her to speak.
Shi Xiaoai didn't say what she thought at first but asked: "Cheng Yang, I never had the chance to ask you, are you on vacation or transferred back this time? Or have you changed jobs?"
Cheng Yang said calmly: "It's a vacation for now."
Shi Xiaoai was a little confused about what he meant by "temporary", but she didn't pursue it and continued asking: "Then how long do you want to take a break? Will you return to the army after the break?"
Cheng Yang replied: "These have not been determined yet because I am on sick leave now, and it is unrealistic to return to the original army before my body is fully recovered, so how long I will take depends on my physical recovery. As for whether I will continue to stay in the army or not in the future or change jobs, it depends on what you want; I can do that."
Shi Xiaoai didn't expect him to say that, and a trace of surprise flashed in her eyes.
She shook her head: "You can stay here during your vacation. You don't have to worry about family matters. Just help me take care of Mingxi. You two can recuperate together.
I will bring Mingrui myself and let him go out with me when the time comes.
As for your future, you have to make your own decision, I won't interfere.
When it comes to your future career, who can see it more clearly than yourself? Whether you want to stay in the army or change careers is up to you to decide. "
Hearing that she was so separate from him, Cheng Yang felt a prick in his heart and indescribable pain for fear of contamination.
He didn't answer, and the room fell silent for a moment.
The silence was uncomfortable and a little embarrassing.
Shi Xiaoai moved her body and took the initiative to express her thoughts.
She said: "Cheng Yang, what I said to you in the hospital that day was not out of anger or complaint; it was from my heart. I am used to being alone and unprepared to continue being a couple with anyone, including you.
I know you are a good person, and if we lived together, it would be suitable for the children and me, but two people still have to have feelings when living together. "
"Then we can cultivate our relationship", Cheng Yang suddenly interrupted.
Shi Xiaoai paused and nodded in agreement: "Yes, but I don't have the energy or the idea to cultivate relationships."
She smiled bitterly and looked up at the sky: "Life is difficult enough; why do you force yourself to do things you don't want to do?"
She thought again of her parents and brother in another world and her harmonious and beautiful home.
She loved her home and family very much, but all this disappeared without her being prepared.
The sadness and pain left to her didn't exist without saying she didn't want to.
Shi Xiaoai can face all the difficulties in the future with strength, but she cannot imagine what will happen to her if the same situation occurs again.
No matter how big your heart is, you will go crazy, right?
She promised the original owner and her family that she would raise her two children well, so she would fulfil her promise and treat Mingrui and Mingxi well.
Besides this, Shi Xiaoai wants to avoid having any more entanglements with this world.
Those things related to feelings are even more untouchable.
Cheng Yang looked at Shi Xiaoai, and at this moment, an inexplicable panic suddenly surged in his heart.
Shi Xiaoai had said something like she had no feelings for him before, but he had never felt like this early when his wife was so far away from him, as if she would disappear at a glance and never come back to him.
Without thinking, he roared: "You don't have to do it, I'll do it! You don't have to do anything you don't want to do; I can do it. I can do everything, like cultivating feelings and getting close to you! It's just Xiao Ai, you give me a chance and don't give up on me."
His voice was loud at first, then became softer and softer, but his eyes, on the contrary, became more and more scorching. He stared at Shi Xiaoai closely, full of desire without concealment.
Shi Xiaoai, initially sad, couldn't help but subconsciously choose to avoid this look.
Her attitude softened, so Cheng Yang immediately stepped forward and stuffed the envelope back into her hand.
As if he was afraid that she would refuse again, he said quickly: "I exchanged all kinds of tickets here with my comrades. They are all messy, and many of them have date restrictions. You sort them out, and we can pick the ones that need to be used immediately. Go buy it now; don't waste it.
You keep that money; I know you have it, but I also have expenses to live at home, and my responsibility is to support my family and my children. Just hold it, don't push it. "
After that, when he stood up, he pressed hard on the envelope with his other hand, then turned around and left.
It's like someone will throw you out of your home if you are late for a minute.
At the end of the day, Xiaoai couldn't say anything about rejection.
Seeing him running to the kitchen and starting to light a fire and cook exaggeratedly as if he wanted to show off that he was instrumental and that the family couldn't live without him, Shi Xiaoai sat there without moving.
She just thought of her parents and relatives, and she felt unfortunate and couldn't feel relieved in such a short period.
But listening to the various noises caused by the men outside and the faint laughter of children, she felt that her heart was not so empty again.
Shi Xiaoai leaned on the bed quietly, feeling the tiredness deep in her body sweeping over her.
She didn't want to hold on any longer, so she lifted the quilt and lay down in it.
Nestled in the newly made soft and comfortable quilt, as if waking up from a dream, Xiao Ai suddenly remembered -
I didn't reveal my divorce plan today.
Cheng Yang didn't give her such a chance at all.
She scolded the man in her heart, feeling that he was a clever man who knew everything but was very good at pretending to be confused.
Shi Xiaoai warned herself in her heart that she couldn't be soft-hearted next time and couldn't let this person fool her again.
But she didn't know that when she was thinking about this, the pear dimples at the corners of her lips appeared, and a smile was hidden in the corners of her eyes and eyebrows.
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